Make Space for these Women
Dear Momma,
Being around a strong woman of God, who has a strong sense of the Holy Spirit overflowing from her is definitely someone I want to be around. I love being in the presence of a woman like this and soaking up all of the wisdom I can. I want to hear from a woman who’s been there, done that, learned from her mistakes, and has lived through trials with faithfulness. I want to sit next to a woman who has sat where I’ve sat, and can change my perspective to align with His Truth and not any other ‘truth’, especially in the midst of a challenging season. I want to be challenged and understood. I want to see joy and hope lived out ‘on the other side’ of each season of motherhood. I want sound advice, with no judgment, but with accountability, because my children and household matter too much to me for me to do things my way.
I had someone who helped me learn how to play sports at a high level. This person was my coach.
I had someone help me learn how to use language to make change, add and subtract fractions, and learn about history.
This person was my teacher.
I have had someone help me stay on track with my eating and exercise habits. This person was my health coach.
When it comes to one of the most important roles/jobs I will ever have, motherhood, I’ve learned that I needed Godly women in my life to pour into me to continually learn as I’m living this ministry out.
Let me tell you about JoRita. She is soft and gentle. She has this beautiful aroma on her as if you can smell the glory of God just flowing out of her. Although she is beautiful and gentle, she is also a mighty warrior. She is a woman of Godly strength.
When I listened to her speaking at church, I was all ears. I was all ears because I had already witnessed how she operated as a wife and as a mother. I’d seen how she operated as a mother-in-law and Nana. When she went in front of our congregation to share, I knew that any tidbit she had to share about her experience as a mom, I’d grab a pen immediately and write down every single thing that she shared and I prayed, “God, please give me a prayer life and faith not only like her but personalized for me and even beyond what I can imagine. I pray that I have a Godly influence that will impact generations to come, just like her.”
What an example! I knew she was someone to look up to. I have witnessed her obedience to the Lord in and outside of church. I watched how she prays over our church family. I have seen her continually soak up what God has for her. Her continual obedience was something I admired. She has raised her son, who is grown now. He is our pastor. He is a strong man of faith and married to a strong woman of faith. They have a beautiful daughter together. I hear how her son and daughter in law talk about her, and to her. She is robed with honor. This is an example of a woman who has done motherhood well and someone who has devoted her life to Christ. I’m not saying perfectly, but I am saying blessed and well. It’s amazing to see God’s faithfulness through the generations.
At one point in time, she owned her own business and worked full time. She is someone who has gone through her own various struggles throughout her life and throughout it all, she remained faithful and God has blessed her for it. This is someone I want to soak in everything from. This is someone I want to learn from. Every opportunity she invites me into, I do everything I can to be in her presence. I’m thankful for her.
Next, there’s Beth. Well, Beth was there first. I’m thankful for Beth and I sincerely love her. I’ve known Beth for probably 7 or 8 years and I met her while taking a class she was helping to lead at church. She has seen me at my best and at my worst. What the Lord did for me through that class, changed my life forever. Through this season, Beth became a spiritual mentor for me. Beth is an obedient woman of God. She, throughout the years, has opened her home to me. I’ve done Bible and book studies with her over the years. I’ve sipped tea with her just talking on her back porch. We’ve prayed together.
Beth homeschooled her three children when they were young. They are all three grown and married and Beth is also a grandmother. I would have loved to homeschool my children. She has raised her children who are married to faithful spouses. They are living their lives responding to God’s callings and forging the path to living Godly lives. I’m not sure where I heard it from, but I heard that you can really tell that faith has been grounded and truly handed down when you see it flowing out of one’s grandchildren. With Beth and JoRita, I see God in the lives of their grandchildren and being raised in the church. My children have baked with Beth in the kitchen and drank cold lemonade on her porch. She’s brought their friends to Christ. I cherish any moments my girls can get with her.
Motherhood is a different experience when you go through it with people like this. It’s just sweeter.
Then there’s Jen. I used to live near Jen. She was a neighbor of mine in the first neighborhood we lived in when we first moved to Kansas City in 2013. She was a mom who was in the thick of things. While I had three daughters under the age of 4. She had three children in their teen and pre-teen years. Even in the midst of her BUSY, she took my daughter to school everyday, also getting her Sonic drinks each morning. Jen is a very faithful woman who keeps it real. She shared the small things with me like how she kept scriptures on her refrigerator and changed them out each week. She shared how she created a specific notebook with scriptures organized in different sections so she’d have her scriptures ready when her children, husband or household needed specific prayer. She shared the hard and messy stuff, the real raw parts of motherhood and family. These conversations have changed me forever.
I remember just talking to Jen for hours in the driveway just listening to her talk about how she might have done things differently or things she leaned into the Lord for and prayed for. Sitting with her as she navigated the pre-teen and teen years provided conversations for me that I will forever hold near and dear to my heart because God was using Jen to mentor me while my children were still in pre-school. I can still remember sitting on that driveway, seeing the sun set in the sky to a sky filled with stars and a bright moon, not wanting to be anywhere else except for lost in the conversation withy Jen right then and there. Those are some of the most precious moments to me still.
These are three women, with three different paths. Three regular, hard working moms (now grandmothers). Three women with three very different lives. One woman homeschooled her children while one sent her son to private school and the other raised her kids through the public school system. Some of the women worked outside of the home, while one did not. All three have navigated struggle. All of these women, no matter how different some things in their lives may have been, had one thing in common: they wanted to surrender their lives and their families to Christ.
There are so many mothers who have come before us and moms who have done motherhood well. There are other women I could have mentioned here. I don’t take any of these women for granted. We need to learn from them to not only benefit ourselves, but to impact the entire temperature of our households.
Beth helped me build a strong foundation of faith and identity in Christ when I needed that most.
Jen gave me connection, relief, and joy in a season where my children were dependent upon me.
JoRita has shown me how to not live like a lukewarm Christian with love and no judgement.
Eve, the first mother, fascinates me. She was the very first example of a mother. She was the first design of a mother. She had children and a husband. She comforted her children and nurtured them. Just like me and you. She navigated struggle and being in vulnerable positions. She navigated the loss of a child as well as a child who would be part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. She loved the Lord. I wish I knew so much more about her than I do. I just have so many questions for the first mother EVER. Talk about someone who had questions about being a mom!!
It’s critically important to lean into those who have done it well and been obedient and faithful to the Lord. Take notes from these women. Apply what can impact our households. Hold onto and squeeze out all of the information and knowledge you can with the moments you get with women of God. Learning from these women has changed my life forever. Spending time with these women has given me so much joy, even in the toughest most exhausting times of my life.
Here are three things you can do right now to get amazing Godly women in your life:
Pray specifically and ask the Lord for a spiritual mother/mentor who will help you get closer to the Lord and closer to the wife and mother He’s called you to be. Pray specifically to have close relationships with these women at the just right seasons of your life when you need them most. The enemy will lie to you and tell you that you can do it all on your own and then he will tell you that you’re not equipped. When you’re surrounded by Godly women, they can remind you of the Truth. This community is important during motherhood.
Seek out your JoRita, Beth, or Jen. Observe the women you’re around. Be careful, though, not to just call anybody a mentor. Has this woman bore much fruit (Godly)? Where is this woman at in her life and on her own journey? Pay close attention and be ready for God to bring her right to you.
Make time in your calendar for that Bible study, cup of tea on the porch, or random driveway conversations with her. This is some of the most life giving and transformative time for me as a mom who is in the midst of BUSY (and when I say busy y’all, I mean BUSY).
Go ahead, Momma. Take a few minutes to pray, reflect and write.
Let’s turn our Eyes to Jesus because it’s all for His Glory.
In love,
Kassie Leigh